I am unfinished.

A work in progress.

Being made new every day.

& I hope you are too.

Unfinished is not a bad place to be.

Today I want to share what 2 verses spoke into me…

2 Cor 10:5-6 “⁵ We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,⁶ being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete.”

“Mighty is the One who is For us… He will make a way. Our God is fighting for us always!!”

I sing it and I believe it. With my whole heart. Especially, when I can feel Him moving. But what happens when it becomes abruptly silent? When the deepest part of my heart that believes in Who He IS and All that He Can Do, doesn’t match my heart on the outside? When I am searching for answers that I believe should have already come? {my answers} When I am fighting for faith? When the worries of simple things set in and you can’t take them captive and align them with the promises of what you know to be truth? 

I am in a unique place in my life right now. I looking back at all that God has done in this last year, and where it is flawed, it’s also so beautiful. He is redeeming and reviving so much that needed to be torn down and rebuilt.

I will hit the highlights really quick if you are new. I have shared over time.

In the blessings there is always tension and always threats to devour our faith. And stuff really got a little messy and hard.  And I kept painting and I kept praying through it all… I don’t get to choose the way God uses me or the troubles… only my response. And I fall short many more times than I care to admit to even myself. Because self-sufficiency replaces the idea that I am unfinished. And it seemed like years of falling short, until I came to a place of absolute defeat and surrendering my own strength for His complete strength.  

At the time we moved to this beautiful dream farmhouse. I felt like it was the answer to the stirring in my heart that God had placed so many years ago. Things were not easy. I had big desires that were good and His.  I had silence and waiting, prayers for what and how to accomplish those desires, and we did a lot of life that looked really good on the outside. But there had to be something missing. And in the busyness of doing His work- I think if we were all honest, we can forget to bring Him along. When I realized this was strategy the enemy had begun and we had allowed… In true to Lori fashion, I was bold and unfiltered. That didn’t say rude or critical. I just wasn’t afraid to be honest and speak the truth that needed to be said. And we began seeking God’s plan over any that we could manufacture. And it didn’t go over well with some. And that is just okay. Because my obedience is to God not man. No better way to prove that, than walk it. 

Gotta love facebook memories. Two weeks ago this Weds, I sat alone on my couch on week 4 of a bible study I was leading. I knew I would all week and I knew it wasn’t the enemy. The coming into the study was certainly obedience despite the enemy. But God was needing to step in and clear out the trees and do some site work.  Even the worst of circumstances will be used for your good and His glory.  Sometimes perspective is all we need to see His hand of protection instead of the problem itself.

Through all the trials of life we have walked through, doing it alone is the only time when we finally had victory. Because it’s when God got me alone in His Presence and did the work that only He could do. The work is always more about us than the problem at hand. I welcomed that night so much more than I think my husband expected. He thought my talk had been negative and defeat driven. I knew it was God about to move big through something I so desperately was seeking. To know how to love like Him. And to do that He had to take me through all my resolves and all my weaknesses and He can’t do that with noise and reliance on others… Walls were torn down and my heart was being undone!!

Then one day towards the end of graduation for my oldest daughter…. I was physically struck down. And months of doctors and tests at the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale would  show a cyst and lesions on my spine. All pointing to MS. I will expand on that in another post over time… But here I sit in a house I love that held me prisoner from May to August last summer because of humidity and a fire storm of symptoms I have no control over… 

It’s not the aligning our thoughts to His that got me in those verses. It’s the “when you become fully obedient”. 

In this season, I am believing that when God spoke. I listened. I heard and we acted accordingly. And if I were the enemy I’d be up in the heavenly realm delaying any and all answers to prayers from coming down for my good, revealing God’s power. But His power isn’t revealed just in the answers of His prayers but in the obedience of His people in the silence. In the waiting. I will continue believing I am simply unfinished. Lord, may I always be so small to fit in your hands and believe I am unfinished!! 

So, I keep pressing on in His strength. Head lifted up, eyes fixed on Him alone. Thoughts not on those who wronged me, or the body that battles me. not the weather today or tomorrow that carries much worry. I will focus on His ability to carry me through the fire and the darkest storms of past and know that His strength is what will continue to carry me. Everything I need is in Him. When I become fully aligned and fully obedient to that truth- He will move and I better be ready!! 

It’s a process, and one that I know I am unfinished. He’s enough for me in that process!! 

 

From today’s study in All Things New by Kelly Minter. She has amazing way of walking you through scripture and bringing fresh understanding and hard questions that help you dig deeper into who God is in you.  The photo below contains an affiliate link to Amazon for the bible study.